Who am I Lord

Last night was somewhat challenging for us. No bad news, just some of friction from trying to plan for the next few months. I think that most of it was caused because Christy and I were very tired and just plain worn out.

A wise man challenged me to read the Bible every day for 60 days and keep a journal of my readings. He called it Breakfast with Jesus. For just under one year now, I have not missed one day. One thing that has been very tough for me was to look back at the days since we learned we were going to have a new baby. There are so many prayers about Christy's health and the new baby's health that it was very, very hard to understand what has happened. It has taken several days to come to grips with the fact that our baby is perfect in God's eyes and in his plans. Bottom line, that is what matters. That doesn't mean I still don't struggle with many "what-if's" and "why's" -- believe me I do.

Today we should receive more details about the MOMS study and with any luck, by Friday we might have the results of the Amnio.

Again, your prayers are coveted in this challenging time.


Todd

Out of the mouths of babes

We have been trying to explain to Jordan why mommy and daddy have been talking with so many people and what may happen in the next few weeks. He know that the baby is sick and that the doctors need to fix her. We have explained to him that the baby has a hole in her spine that needs to be fixed. So, like any smart child he suggested we tape her up. If only it was so simple.

Jordan started and continues to pray for his sister at meals and at our nightly prayers. His sister is going to have a great brother.

Saturday's Phone Call

We had a great talk with the director of the MOMS program. We talked about the details of the program including the risks and possible benefits. I don't know what God has planned for our baby -- we don't know if we will get into the study or not, and if we do we don't know if we will have the surgery. All things considered, we are doing our best to let go and let God work. We will be sending our medical records to the MOMS folks for review and then hopefully we will get a follow-up appointment at UCSF in the next two weeks.

Keep your prayers coming! They are working as we daily feel blessed and relieved that God is in control.

More to follow.

T

Looking back on the last few days

I think that the toughtest thing God is trying to teach me in this situation is that I need to learn to let other love me.

We have received a TREMENDOUS outpouring of love from so many people. I really don't know how many people are praying for our family but we covet each and every prayer. I wanted to share a few things that have happened to us this week. I had a good friend call me and he didn't know what to say other that "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. What can I do to help?" So, what is the proper response to this question? Well, in this case, my friend is not a Christian so I told him flat out, "Become a Christian." BAM! Well see where this goes..

I hesitate to list all of the people who have called or email us to offer help, prayers and support -- I don't want to forget anyone because you are all so very special members of our extended family.

Just a few more thoughts for now. We have a con call with Dr. Catherine Shaer today at 2 pm. We are going to talk about the MOMS program, Gillian's prognosis, and I would guess many other things. I will send out an update email after the conversation.

More to follow...

Todd

Remember our Jordan Updates? Here we go again...

Friends and Family-

Three and a half years ago you stood by us and helped us through a very tough time in our life. With God's help and yours as well, we are all doing well.

So what are the odds that we would have another big challenge with our second baby? Forget the odds because we have problems.

Yesterday we had an ultrasound that showed our new baby has spina bifida. We have the most severe form that is called Meningomyelocele (pronounced muh-NING-go-my-uh-low-seal) but we have it in the best possible location -- very low on the spine. So where do we go from here?

We are being considered by UCSF for inclusion in a study called MOMS (Management of Meningomyelocele Study) that may involve having prenatal surgery to improve the outcome for our baby. We won't know if we will be accepted into the study until we have the results of the amnio back. We must also pass an evaluation to see if we meet the other criteria for participation.

We haven't picked a name yet -- we were waiting to learn if we were having a boy or a girl. We think we are having a girl.

Folks, I am ready for another set of miracles. I will admit this has not been an easy day, but in my heart I know that God has a plan for this child and I should praise him that he would entrust us to be part of his plan.

We would covet your prayers for these specific things:

1. That God would cause a miracle to occur and that our baby would be healthy.
2. That we have strength to make it through this very tough time
3. That we would be able to continue being good parents to Jordan

Please feel free to forward this email.

Thanks,

Todd, Christy, Jordan, and Baby-O.