Nothing is a coincidence

I've gotten several great notes back regaring our last post during our UCSF visit. Again, thank all of you for your very kind words.

Back to the subject at hand...

We have had a few people tell us that they believe God will do a HUGE miracle and heal Gillian. For me, this is really hard for me to think about. I would love for God to reach down and touch her right now and make this situation go away but I know that from her Creator's point of view, she is already perfect. In my prayer journal my number one prayer continues to be a HUGE miracle for Gillian. I feel somewhat selfish in praying this prayer. Sometimes I find myself thinking "Who am I to ask God who has made a perfect creation to make it more perfect?" and then I remember that it is the world is trying to stop me from praying for this precious little girl. The book of Job tells us that Satan roams trough the earth and that he is going back and forth in it. The world wants me to NOT trust in God. The world wants me to discount that Devil wants to use this situation to build a wall between me and the Lord. The world wants me to throw in the towel. The world thinks I am in denial. Then I remember that I've got to make a continual choice.

At somepoint during these struggles it hits me -- who is your best friend and why can't you pour our your soul to him.

Update from UCSF Visit

Cold and Rainy in the city

We awoke in the morning in what looked and felt to be Seattle with a lot of low lying clouds and a rain. We arrived at UCSF and our first appointment was with a wonderful ultrasound tech. Gillian waved for the camera. She must take after her mother. As the exam continued we were able to see wonderful pictures of what God is knitting together. I was somewhat nervous about seeing the lesion on her back. Above all, I was hoping that God had done a huge miracle and had healed this precious little girl. Then I remembered that one who created Gillian made her without imperfections. It is the world who tells us that she is imperfect. I choose to believe that the world is wrong. I chose to trust the perfect creation of the Lord. I put my trust in him and praise him that he would entrust us with this child.

After the ultrasound tech was done, a radiologist paid us a visit and continued the exam.

The radiologist was very nice and we talked at length about what she was seeing. In the end, she discovered that we have a very minor case of placenta previa. She also burned us a CD copy of the dicom images (medical images from the ultrasound). Long story short, that condition generally excludes people from the MOMS study. We left the ultrasound visit somewhat down but still feeling and believing that God is in control.

We then met with four doctors (plus a visiting doc from the UK) to discuss the risks and possible benefits from the prenatal surgery. We also met Stephanie a UCSF social worker who was absolutely wonderful. We all talked at length about the program and the initial opinion of Dr. Ball was that the doing the prenatal surgery in our case would be too risky. This is an answer to prayer. I had been praying that the Doctors would see what they needed to see. God delivers again.

The team at UCSF has been wonderful. We continued to discuss Gillian's prognosis and talked about moving forward with the post-natal surgery at UCSF once Gillian is born. I will admit that I am feeling both let down and relieved. We want the best care for Gillian and Christy -- and that is what we are continuing to receive.

Right now we are at our second exam of the day. We are having a fetal echo. I just heard Gilli's heart. The echo study was "unremarkable" -- meaning things are looking good.

We have had a bout an hour and a half break since the last appointment and we have made the rounds on the UCSF campus. We hit the bookstore. We hit the Rec Hall. We hit the Starbucks. Our last appointment of the day was with Dr. Gupta. Dr. Gupta is a neurosurgeon who does both pre-natal and post-natal surgeries on spina bifida kids. What a kind and gracious man he was.

All in all, this was a very good experience for us We had the opportunity to meet most of the team who will, in all likelyhood, be caring for Gillian.

It is now Wednesday AM and Christy is having the fetal MRI. I am taking this opportunity to finish this update and email it out to our family and friends. We will send another update out later this week with links to the images we were able to obtain from the various studies as well as specific prayer requests.

We are so blessed to have so many of you praying for this little child. I don't know what God has planned for her but I am dreaming big.

Todd

Good News about Baby O

This will be the last Baby O update because we are very pleased to
announce:

Our precious little girl will be named Gillian Christine Osterberg.
We've setup a blog (a web log -- Todd explained this to Christy as a
kind of website...) to which we will be posting updates as her story
unfolds. We will also continue the email updates as well.. The
address for the blog is http://gillianosterberg.blogspot.com

More good news...

We got the results of the amnio today and there are no indications that
would exclude us from the MOMS study and possible prenatal surgery at
UCSF. The amnio showed Gillian is definitely a girl, she has normal
chromosomes, and she has spina bifida with some spinal nerve exposure.

On to our next challenge...

We have been in contact with UCSF and two day set of tests are
scheduled for February 15th and 16th. If we do have surgery, it will
be on the 17th (which is next Thursday - yikes!). T minus 10 and
counting... I am starting to get a bit nervous and anxious. I am
falling out of the comfort and rest that I have been enjoying for the
past two weeks. The realization of just how challenging this is going
to be has hit me like a brick.

Christy and I have been talking about the logistics and the 'what ifs'
if we are in the prenatal surgery group. It is looking like we might
not live in Fairfield after all. The UCSF people would be much more
comfortable if Christy stayed in SF rather than Fairfield. So, we have
a somewhat new plan: Jordan and I will live in Roseville, and Christy
will live in SF. The impact of this decision is that Jordan will
hopefully have a more "normal" routine, but we will need TWO caregivers
(one in Roseville and one in SF) to pull this off.

As we are praying and searching for people who can help, we've put a
calendar together that is available at
<>. The calendar only shows
info for coverage for Jordan here in Roseville. We need to find people
to help with Jordan on Tuesday afternoons, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

That about sums it up. More to follow..


Todd, Christy, Jordan and Gillian.

Our Email from UCSF

Here is our itinerary from UCSF so that we can all be praying for very
specific things:


Christine and Todd Osterberg,

Tuesday, January 15

8:15 arrive for 8:30 ultrasound,400 Parnassus @ plaza level (directly
across the street from the hospital) There is a white Hippocrates
statue by a set of outdoor cement stairs. Take those stairs down directly to
ultrasound.

1:00 ECHO, 3rd floor hospital, room M-343

Consults:
Stephanie Berman LCSW, 15 floor
Robert Ball, MD Perinatologist
Roberta Keller, MD Neonatologist-15th floor
Diana Farmer, MD Pediatric and Fetal Surgeon
Hanmin Lee, MD Pediatric and Fetal Surgeon
Stephanie Berman Social Worker- 15th floor
Mark Rosen, MD Anesthesiologist
Cindy Lazzareti, RN Director Spina Bifida Clinic
Dr. Nalin Gupta, MD Pediatric Neurosurgeon- ACC 8th floor


Wednesday, January 16

8:15 arrive for 11:30 MRI the China Basin location. China Basin at 185
Berry Street. Do not eat or drink anything 4 hrs prior to the MRI. The MRI
will take approx. 2 hours. Take a taxi from the motel to China Basin.
There is a free UCSF shuttle that you will bring you back to the hospital.

12:00 Meet with Fetal Treatment Center Nurses to discuss possible
randomization, U-112